love it.. insta fav. ggz.

thanks homes.

--
"if you can't handle me at my worst
you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
-marilyn monroe.
:]

you won't.
but it's okay if you don't.


... everyone's always like "forgive and forget" ... "don't hold anger." "kill them with kindness" -- well, i say fuck that, actually. there are some things that are well-deserved anger.
and,
i cling to the actual truth of the line
"Forgive? ..sounds good.
Forget?> ..i'm not sure I could"

and to me that's more real. but perhaps someday, it won't have to hold you hostage to the anger portion.
yet, that's not to invalidate the reasons it's there -- and ya know what, the more i think about it; the more the REST of that song is actually appropriate.

"i'm not ReadY to 'make nice'. i'm not ready to back down. i'm still mad as hell and i don't have time to going 'round and 'round and 'round. it's too LATE to make it right...
I probably Would'T if I could.

Because I'm mad as hell -- can't Bring myselF to do what it is you think I should."


...of course i don't want you to be angry.
but the only way to one day NOT look back in anger, is to allow yourself to feel what you have every justifiable reason to.


((i'm not leaving too many comments, i'm sorry -- but this one, i felt deserved something deeper and true.))

--
----
<sub>[...a secret was concealed.]
it rose like thunder, clapped under our hands!
it s t r e t c h e d for centuries to a diary entry's end;
where i wrote:

you make me happy when skies are grey.</sub>

you know, sometimes i don't mind being angry. i think i confuse it for strength. i really don't let people hurt me, not really, not anymore. because if they piss me off i always have that hate that i can trigger in a moment. its like, what i hide behind i think? sometimes i hate it. especially right now. i feel like so much anger from my life BEFORE steers me and thats not fair to anyone else in my life now. i try to accept me the way i am, which is a happy person. but its like i have two emotions: happy or PISSED. because as soon as i hit sad, its over for. haha. i don't know why i'm laughing, thats probably not funny...


thanks as always, love.

--
"if you can't handle me at my worst
you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
-marilyn monroe.
:]